First Weeks as Mom of TWO!
I am 8 weeks into #momlifeof2 and I will say there is just ONE thing that has totally surprised me - otherwise it's pretty much what I anticipated 🤪
Before I get into that one thing, I wanted to share my full birth story. It was a bit of a whirlwind, but can I do believe I somehow I manifested Booker's birth date!
Booker’s Birth Story
I had been seeing 10/10 everywhere and even envisioned it during a reiki session back in August. I told my mom, my best friend & sister he was going to be born on 10/10 because I knew no one would believe me if I said it after it happened - haha!
Okay back to the birth story. With my ovarian history, we put a C-section on the schedule for 10/12 so my oncologist could also be present to remove an ovarian cyst. At that point I would have been over 39 weeks and I felt very confident with that decision.
Quick back story on my medical history... During Emery's pregnancy in 2018 I had my right ovary removed surgically, along with a very large (15cm), borderline ovarian tumor. They left me with a small ovarian cyst on my left ovary to play it safe and not risk me losing both ovaries at 26 years old.
We kept an eye on the left ovary for the last few years and after I got pregnant with Booker, we decided that if it was safe - we'd remove the cyst during a C-section.
I also was going back & forth on having a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) & ultimately decided that I would follow my body's lead.
Well on Saturday Oct 9, I was having some pretty intense contractions. There was one that I remember that caused some very pinpointed pain on my left side. I looked over to Tylor and said - I wonder if my cyst just ruptured…
From then on, I had 12 hours of what felt like left-sided back labor. It was painful, but manageable so I took a hot bath that evening & slept at home - getting a few hours of sleep on & off.
On Sunday morning the 10th, I decided to go into Labor & Delivery on my own just to get checked (we live like 2 miles from the hospital) and see if the labor I was having was actually making progress.
I went in around 8am and was at 2cm. Given my history, they asked what I wanted to do. My contractions were 3-5 min apart & I was definitely in labor - but it would likely be a long progress as I was progressing very slowly 🙈
All of my instinct was telling me to do a C-section, but my pride was holding on to a possible VBAC - why does that happen?!
The OB on call was not my doctor, but she recommended checking in with my oncologist to see if she would be available to assist in a C-section that day in case that's what I decided.
I had this feeling I should do the C-section if my oncologist was available because I felt like maybe that cyst really did rupture & we had the plan to take it out anyways.
Well everything aligned & my oncologist was available so I made the decision to do a repeat C-section that afternoon!
I am SO happy we ended up going that route because they found that the cyst DID indeed rupture and they were able to get pathology samples throughout my entire abdomen.
This C-Section was much more painful than the one I had with Emery, because they had to do all the cyst removal work and it just was not fun 😭 The birth part was totally okay though for anyone anticipating a C-Section!
Booker was born the evening of October 10th (10/10!) and we went home 24 hours later.
First Few Weeks as Mom of TWO!
The biggest question I have gotten is what was harder - having your first or transitioning into life with two? Now - I am only 8/9 weeks in… but I feel like saying so far, having my first was harder for me!
While my hormones & emotions were SO much more intense this time around, I had much more confidence in my abilities! I didn’t get scared over the little noises he made or the loud cries. I felt like I knew what to do! In contrast, becoming a mom the first time around was scary! I felt like I had no idea what I was doing most days 😆
Routine
The first few weeks especially, there is NO such thing as routine! Change diapers, feed baby & try to sleep a bit here & there is really what my weeks consisted of. And this is SO normal for those first 1-2 months.
I feel like just recently I have started to feel like we are getting into a little more of a rhythm. Booker is by no means on a “schedule” - but I would say there are more consistencies in our day such as what time we start the day, what time he goes to bed & what we do during awake times!
I absolutely love & swear by Taking Cara Babies - she has a great newborn course to lay a good foundation for sleep & routine. We did this with Emery (it is a no cry approach) and we loved it then. So far, it’s working great with Booker too! 😍
Funny enough - I think Emery is transitioning OUT of naps and seems to be wanting to do more & more independently, including climbing out of bed 🙈 Luckily she doesn’t do this in the middle of the night, but naptime is hit or miss lately. We do love the Hatch light to use as an “alarm” for her when it is time to get out of bed (this keeps her from leaving her room when she shouldn’t). We got this when she was a baby & it is the BEST sound machine! We have one in Booker’s room now too. You can see all of my Baby Must Have items in my Amazon Store here!
Entrepreneurship
I did a lot of prep work prior to Booker’s birth to make these first months as simple as possible for my business. The tough part I didn’t totally anticipate is the CRAZINESS of my two main clients’ sales during the holidays! So while I have been trying to sit back & enjoy my “maternity leave” - it is definitely not as relaxing as I thought it would be!
This doesn’t mean you can’t have a more hands-off approach to a maternity leave as an entrepreneur - but for me, I wanted to stay present for these 2 main retainer clients, so it’s been a little more work than anticipated! I think as a Virtual Assistant - it totally depends on the types of clients you have - and if you are willing to have someone else take over your tasks (potentially training them for a temporary spot) or if you want to stay in your position.
What Can Wait
The thing that I have given myself lots of grace on is household things hah! I usually LOVE to have a clean & organized home, but in this season I am totally embracing the messiness of this transition… and I am proud of myself for that! Except I always have to have a clean kitchen before we go to bed 😬 If there are loads of laundry not put away, toys all over the place & packages that haven’t been open - I’m okay with that… but my only thing I NEED to have is a clean kitchen every night hah!
We are also in the transition of finding a “big girl bed” for Emery & making some changes to her room - which will ultimately take toys out of our kitchen/living areas and into organized spaces in her room, so I am excited for that!
What Surprised Me Most
So what was the ONE thing that totally caught me off guard?
How flexible I have become. Here’s the thing - I am usually a person who has each hour of each day planned out. Emery’s routine, my workout schedule, my work tasks, etc - all things I would normally be so strict about. Well, since having Booker join the fam, I have totally learned to LET GO of the mess, the schedule & even not getting work tasks checked off the way I planned.
While I have so many ideas I want to execute, I have put a lot of my own business goals on hold as well. This has allowed me to soak up this time more 🙌🏼
If you are looking for a tip - this is it… LET THINGS GO. The routine you had, the clean home, being on time (I am NEVER on time anymore lol), etc.. just let it go and embrace the messiness of the season. Because it is just that - a season!
I have mentors and friends with older kids who have told me - now that my kids are out of the house, it is always clean & I have all the time I need to work on my business - but I miss the mess.
I’m not going to say “enjoy every moment” - because that truly isn’t possible & it is OKAY to be touched out, to lose your cool or to need space - but be okay with the mess 😊 It is temporary and who knows, you may even miss it one day!
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Let’s wrap this up with some photos from our Newborn Home Photoshoot!
